81

 Armeror Fallstag

Duration 4.24

 

Armeror FallstagArmeror Fallstag

Peter Greenaway & Armeror FallstagPeter Greenaway & Armeror Fallstag

At an open-air concert at Phoenix, Arizona, Armeror Fallstag is reputed by his fans and promoters to have flown 310 metres, and they are not speaking metaphorically.

Interviewer: "Is it true Armeror Fallstag, that when you flew for the first time you were airsick?"

Armeror: "All fledglings on their first flight regurgitate their food."

Interviewer: "Did you use feathers?"

Armeror: "No way."

Interviewer: "How far did you fly that first time?"

Armeror: "However far it was, it was certain..."

It is thought that Armeror could have flown further, only he caught his foot in the railings that bounded the concert park and he was pulled down by an admiring crowd.

Interviewer: "Did you fly near the sun?"

Armeror: "No way."

Interviewer: "How about night flying? Have you flown at night?"

Armeror: "...I find it difficult to judge any distance from the ground."

Armeror Fallstag came regularly to Britain to visit all the accredited VUE sites, and a lot of the unaccredited ones as well.

Interviewer: "What do you do about landing in the dark?"

Armeror was generous with donations and he had made speculative plans with an American foundation to purchase Bardsey Island as a VUE sanctuary and last resting-place for severely afflicted VUE victims.

Interviewer: "Is it true what they say about flight?

He was not as yet successful, though in anticipation of an eventual entombment on Bardsey, a considerable number of VUE victims were buried in mainland cemeteries close to the island.

Armeror: "...Wings indeed. You don't need to die."

Interviewer: "What are your opinions about powered flight?"

Armeror: "It was a wrong turning."

Interviewer: "Do you think the Wright Brothers are to be praised or to be cursed?"

Armeror: "The Wright Brothers should have stayed put and made bicycles."

Originally intent on an academic career rewriting Victorian classical novels with the benefit of hindsight, he was side-tracked by an interest in music to make a fortune, which he promptly sunk into property, literary ephemera and psychic drawings.

Armeror: "One the whole, fine flying birds have negligible walking ability, and it's not easy to empathise with an ostrich."

Interviewer: "Do you believe it was Haberlein who discovered Archaeopteryx?"

Armeror: "No way."

With the advent of the VUE, he began to collect VUE artefacts and is now negotiating to buy the fossil Archaeopteryx found by Dr Haberlein in the Solnhofen Lake. The fossil is presently the property of the Natural History Museum in London. This fossil was sold to the British Museum by Haberlein in 1862 to provide a dowry for his eldest daughter and is the subject of Fallstag's current best-selling record 'Abigail and the Early Bird'.

Interviewer: "An inevitable question - what's your opinion about the Theory of the Responsibilty of Birds?"

Aremror: "The imagery of birds is vast and unlimiting. You can take what you like..."

Armeror, a sufferer of poor vision and a taker of Flutinol for intestinal problems, speaks Foreignester, though when he sings, the lyrics are full of quotes and references in French, a language he understands but refuses to speak on account of his animosity to Bleriot.

Interviewer: "I've arranged to meet Tulse Luper at half past one."

Being an American citizen on a visitor's visa to Britain, Armeror is obliged to seek a permit from the American Embassy before realising a flying project at Dover where he hopes, he says, to further discredit Bleriot who could only fly the English Channel with the help of an engine.

Interviewer: "One last question, Armotor. If indeed you can fly, why do you use professional aircraft to get you to Britain?"

Armeror: "To help exhaust the oil supply."

Interviewer: "Armotor, thank you very much."

 

The Falls Biographies

  1. Orchard Falla

  2. Constance Ortuist Fallaburr

  3. Melorder Fallaburr

  4. Appis (Arris) Fallabus

  5. Standard Fallaby

  6. Tasida Fallaby

  7. Lacer Fallacet

  8. Arris Fallacie

  9. Mashanter Fallack

  10. Squaline Fallaize

  11. Carlos Fallantly

  12. Musicus Fallantly

  13. Wrallis Fallanway

  14. Allia Fallanx

  15. Starling Fallanx

  16. Ipson & Pulat Fallari

  17. Stachia Fallari

  18. Aptesia Fallarme

  19. Corntopia Fallas

  20. Anteo Fallaspy

  21. Pandist Fallaspy

  22. Sashio Fallaspy

  23. Vyanine Fallaspy

  24. Casternarm Fallast

  25. Ardenaur Fallatter

  26. Agropio Fallaver

  27. Propine Fallax

  28. Cash Fallbaez

  29. Antopody Fallbatts

  30. Coppice Fallbatteo

  31. Agrendo Fallbazz

  32. Cisgatten Fallbazz

  33. Hasp Fallbazz

  34. Canopy Fallbenning

  35. Cole Fallbird

  36. Castel Fallboys

  37. Acataloope Fallbus

  38. Astraham Fallbute

  39. Loosely Fallbute

  40. Betheda Fallbutus

  41. Bwythan Fallbutus

  42. Cathine Fallbutus

  43. Menenome Fallbutus

  44. Olivine Fallbutus

  45. Vacete Fallbutus

  46. Astra Fallcas

  47. David Fallcash

  48. Bewick Fallcaster

  49. Catch-Hanger Fallcaster

  50. Clasper Fallcaster

  51. Felix Fallcaster

  52. Max Fallcaster

  53. Orion Fallcaster

  54. Throper Fallcaster

  55. Raskado Fallcastle

  56. Appropinquo Fallcatti

  57. Agrimany Fallchester

  58. Sitiarch Fallding

  59. Ostler Falleaver

  60. Edio Fallenby

  61. Shey Fallenby

  62. Affinado Falleur

  63. Erek Fallfree

  64. Thomax Fallfresh

  65. Zachia Fallgillot

  66. Joyan Fallicory

  67. Bird Raspara Fallicutt

  68. Obsian Fallicutt

  69. Wrallis Fallinway

  70. Ashile Fallko

  71. Agostina Fallmutt

  72. Castan Fallockery

  73. Cottes Fallope

  74. Pollie Fallory

  75. Afracious Fallows 

  76. Hearty Fallparco

  77. Sallis Pino Fallpinio

  78. Crasstranger Fallqueue

  79. Romanese Fallracce

  80. Ascrib Fallstaff

  81. Armeror Fallstag

  82. Combayne Fallstoward

  83. Geoffrey Fallthuis

  84. Merriem Falltrick

  85. Stephany Falltrix

  86. Tolley Falluger

  87. Vassian Falluger

  88. Erhaus Bewler Falluper

  89. Grastled Fallusson

  90. Castral Fallvernon

  91. Leasting Fallvo

  92. Anthior Fallwaste

 

 

The Falls 

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