Constance Ortuist Fallaburr

Duration 2.21

Constance Ortuist Fallaburr

Constance Ortuist Fallaburr is a middle-aged Sackamayer-speaking female woman, and she would be the first to admit her interest in flight has been a long one. 

Since the Violent Unknown Event, Constance has gradually developed an earth-bound shape due to an engrossed coccyx. She has continually harboured doubts about the Responsibility of Birds, and having an exaggerated respect for gravity, now shuns flight for herself. Constance has two houses side by side on the coast at Southwold, Suffolk in England. The one on the left was rented by her husband, the aviation historian Melorder Fallaburr, it occasionally served as a holiday home for air-orphans. The one on the right was reserved for Constance's own use, and was crammed tightly with furniture thrown out from airport lounges around the world. This house was called 'le nid' after the initials of Nathan Isole Dermontier, who threw himself from the Eiffel Tower in 1870. Melorder, Constance's husband, said the story was a fabrication, not least because the Eiffel Tower did not exist until 1889. Constance replied that Dermontier must have jumped from the roof of Les Invalides. Both houses at Southwold have since been demolished and the bricks used to strengthen sea-defences. Constance now lives in a two-bedroomed house beside the main runway at Zurich airport. And her favourite Tulse Luper story is The Cassowary.

"A jet aircraft on a cloudless night began its landing flight-path twenty miles due east from the airport where it was due to land. For the first five miles of its descent, the noise from the jet's engines and exhaust disturbed no-one. At the sixth mile, an ornithologist, birdwatching on a reservoir, was irritated by the jet-noise just enough to give the aircraft a quick glance. He turned into a swan. At the seventh mile a naturalist and his wife saw the aircraft through their bedroom net-curtains and were turned into crows. At the eighth mile, four children in a school dormitory saw the aircraft through a skylight and turned into herons. At the ninth mile, seven night-nurses in an old people's home saw the plane and turned into swallows. At the tenth mile, twenty-one members of eight families saw the plane and turned into gulls. By the nineteenth mile, twenty-four thousand, nine hundred and twenty-seven people in two towns, four villages and a camping-site had seen the plane. Most of them had turned into penguins.

When the plane exploded on the air-strip, a cassowary with a purple beak stepped from the wreckage and checked himself into the VIP lounge."

The VUE Commission's information card of Constance Ortuist Fallaburr'le nid', Constance's former house in Southwold, Suffolk in EnglandConstance's house beside the main runway at Zurich airport



The Falls Biographies

  1. Orchard Falla

  2. Constance Ortuist Fallaburr

  3. Melorder Fallaburr

  4. Appis (Arris) Fallabus

  5. Standard Fallaby

  6. Tasida Fallaby

  7. Lacer Fallacet

  8. Arris Fallacie

  9. Mashanter Fallack

  10. Squaline Fallaize

  11. Carlos Fallantly

  12. Musicus Fallantly

  13. Wrallis Fallanway

  14. Allia Fallanx

  15. Starling Fallanx

  16. Ipson & Pulat Fallari

  17. Stachia Fallari

  18. Aptesia Fallarme

  19. Corntopia Fallas

  20. Anteo Fallaspy

  21. Pandist Fallaspy

  22. Sashio Fallaspy

  23. Vyanine Fallaspy

  24. Casternarm Fallast

  25. Ardenaur Fallatter

  26. Agropio Fallaver

  27. Propine Fallax

  28. Cash Fallbaez

  29. Antopody Fallbatts

  30. Coppice Fallbatteo

  31. Agrendo Fallbazz

  32. Cisgatten Fallbazz

  33. Hasp Fallbazz

  34. Canopy Fallbenning

  35. Cole Fallbird

  36. Castel Fallboys

  37. Acataloope Fallbus

  38. Astraham Fallbute

  39. Loosely Fallbute

  40. Betheda Fallbutus

  41. Cathine Fallbutus

  42. Bwythan Fallbutus

  43. Menenome Fallbutus

  44. Olivine Fallbutus

  45. Vacete Fallbutus

  46. Astra Fallcas

  47. David Fallcash

  48. Bewick Fallcaster

  49. Catch-Hanger Fallcaster

  50. Clasper Fallcaster

  51. Felix Fallcaster

  52. Max Fallcaster

  53. Orion Fallcaster

  54. Throper Fallcaster

  55. Raskado Fallcastle

  56. Appropinquo Fallcatti

  57. Agrimany Fallchester

  58. Sitiarch Fallding

  59. Ostler Falleaver

  60. Edio Fallenby

  61. Shey Fallenby

  62. Affinado Falleur

  63. Erek Fallfree

  64. Thomax Fallfresh

  65. Zachia Fallgillot

  66. Joyan Fallicory

  67. Bird Gaspara Fallicutt

  68. Obsian Fallicutt

  69. Wrallis Fallinway

  70. Ashile Fallko

  71. Agostina Fallmutt

  72. Castan Fallockery

  73. Cottes Fallope

  74. Pollie Fallory

  75. Afracious Fallows

  76. Hearty Fallparco

  77. Sallis Pino Fallpinio

  78. Crasstranger Fallqueue

  79. Romanese Fallracce

  80. Ascrib Fallstaff

  81. Armeror Fallstag

  82. Combayne Fallstoward

  83. Geoffrey Fallthuis

  84. Merriem Falltrick

  85. Stephany Falltrix

  86. Tolley Falluger

  87. Vassian Falluger

  88. Erhaus Bewler Falluper

  89. Grastled Fallusson

  90. Castral Fallvernon

  91. Leasting Fallvo

  92. Anthior Fallwaste


The Falls