Coppice Fallbatteo

Duration 2.50


The Directory has registered Coppice Fallbatteo as an Italian-speaking young male man. Though the Violent Unknown Event had taken away his teeth, made him short of breath, flattened his nose, made him allergic to cats and rats, re-arranged his sense of balance and re-structured his colon, it has left him with the language he had leant as a two-year-old child. Coppice wished it had not. 

Bwythan Fallbutus: "Coppice tried very hard to learn one of the VUE languages but ambitiously he had chosen Betelguese, the language of unlimited vocabulary and rapidly changing grammar and syntax. As fast as he had mastered one small area of its possibilities, he found that the same small area had developed, re-aligned itself with a new set of meanings, or had indeed become entirely obsolete. Dispirited, Coppice had made a hesitant start on Katan, one of the more popularly spoken of the mutant languages. But his experience with Betelguese was a bit like contemplating a consonant alphabet of two letters after experiencing a vowel alphabet of two hundred."

Coppice was an art-historian who, trying to make a novel cultural theory out of the VUE, had wholeheartedly taken to the idea of The Responsibility of Birds. After dutiful exploration of the significance of birds in European painting, Coppice focused his interest on Francesca's "Brera Virgin" also known as the "Egg-Painting".

The Egg-Painting

Coppice knew everything there was to know about this painting: its conception, its mathematics, the mineral constituents of its colours, the hagiography of its saints, its value in lire, dollars, gold and osprey feathers. The centre of all this fascination was the suspended egg. To Coppice, the symbol of the Violent Unknown Event, and the one perplexing feature for which he had no definitive explanation.

Coppice encouraged his students to copy the painting, and he kept the results, some bad, some indifferent, some eccentric, some three of four inspired, two almost impossible to tell from the original, and one considerably better, painted by a girl who spoke Betelguese. Her name, Adioner Perdone.

Bwythan Fallbutus: "When Coppice had first tried to learn Betelguese, "Adioner" could be translated approximately into Italian to mean 'yellow'. At the time Coppice had began to take an interest in the della Francesca, the word had shifted its meaning to suggest the concept of yolk, and when Adioner had herself told Coppice her name it had meant 'embryo'. The coincidence was too great for Coppice, and his wish to possess, marry and own Adioner was violent. He found a reason to fail her in her finals exam, and under the excuse of giving her extra tuition, he inveigled his way into her confidence and seduced her. She had a child.

Coppice had the boy fostered by his married sister, and had him christened Piero dell' Adioner. By that time, 'Adioner' in Betelguese could only legitimately be translated into Italian as 'egg'."


The Falls Biographies

  1. Orchard Falla

  2. Constance Ortuist Fallaburr

  3. Melorder Fallaburr

  4. Appis (Arris) Fallabus

  5. Standard Fallaby

  6. Tasida Fallaby

  7. Lacer Fallacet

  8. Arris Fallacie

  9. Mashanter Fallack

  10. Squaline Fallaize

  11. Carlos Fallantly

  12. Musicus Fallantly

  13. Wrallis Fallanway

  14. Allia Fallanx

  15. Starling Fallanx

  16. Ipson & Pulat Fallari

  17. Stachia Fallari

  18. Aptesia Fallarme

  19. Corntopia Fallas

  20. Anteo Fallaspy

  21. Pandist Fallaspy

  22. Sashio Fallaspy

  23. Vyanine Fallaspy

  24. Casternarm Fallast

  25. Ardenaur Fallatter

  26. Agropio Fallaver

  27. Propine Fallax

  28. Cash Fallbaez

  29. Antopody Fallbatts

  30. Coppice Fallbatteo

  31. Agrendo Fallbazz

  32. Cisgatten Fallbazz

  33. Hasp Fallbazz

  34. Canopy Fallbenning

  35. Cole Fallbird

  36. Castel Fallboys

  37. Acataloope Fallbus

  38. Astraham Fallbute

  39. Loosely Fallbute

  40. Betheda Fallbutus

  41. Cathine Fallbutus

  42. Bwythan Fallbutus

  43. Menenome Fallbutus

  44. Olivine Fallbutus

  45. Vacete Fallbutus

  46. Astra Fallcas

  47. David Fallcash

  48. Bewick Fallcaster

  49. Catch-Hanger Fallcaster

  50. Clasper Fallcaster

  51. Felix Fallcaster

  52. Max Fallcaster

  53. Orion Fallcaster

  54. Throper Fallcaster

  55. Raskado Fallcastle

  56. Appropinquo Fallcatti

  57. Agrimany Fallchester

  58. Sitiarch Fallding

  59. Ostler Falleaver

  60. Edio Fallenby

  61. Shey Fallenby

  62. Affinado Falleur

  63. Erek Fallfree

  64. Thomax Fallfresh

  65. Zachia Fallgillot

  66. Joyan Fallicory

  67. Bird Gaspara Fallicutt

  68. Obsian Fallicutt

  69. Wrallis Fallinway

  70. Ashile Fallko

  71. Agostina Fallmutt

  72. Castan Fallockery

  73. Cottes Fallope

  74. Pollie Fallory

  75. Afracious Fallows

  76. Hearty Fallparco

  77. Sallis Pino Fallpinio

  78. Crasstranger Fallqueue

  79. Romanese Fallracce

  80. Ascrib Fallstaff

  81. Armeror Fallstag

  82. Combayne Fallstoward

  83. Geoffrey Fallthuis

  84. Merriem Falltrick

  85. Stephany Falltrix

  86. Tolley Falluger

  87. Vassian Falluger

  88. Erhaus Bewler Falluper

  89. Grastled Fallusson

  90. Castral Fallvernon

  91. Leasting Fallvo

  92. Anthior Fallwaste


The Falls