Sallis Pino Fallpinio

Duration 3.00

Sallis Pino Fallpinio

Sallis: [Recites Tweedledum and Tweedledee in French].

Sallis Fallpinio, children's broadcaster in five languages, visited the grounds of Fountains Abbey, near Ripon, Yorkshire, in the afternoon prior to the Violent Unknown Event. Sometime between 4.12 and 4.25, along with some 310 other people, Sallis walked in front of the Temple of Piety.


A carrion crow sat on an oak

Watching a tailor shape his cloak

Wife, cried he, bring me my bow

That I may shoot yon carrion crow.



Subsequently, along with those 310 other afternoon visitors, Sallis suffered from petagium fellitis, loss of weight, an ability to speak and write Cathaganian in its prime version and an involuntary paralysis that was intermittent and sudden, and locked the lower limbs into an immovable stance that could persist for forty minutes.




There was a little man

Who had a little gun

And bullets that were made of lead, lead, lead

He went to the brook

And shot a little duck

Right through the middle of the head, head, head.



Sallis's photograph

Sallis took a photograph of the grounds at about 4.15. Her aunt is there along with a friend of the family. It seems that the closer to the Temple that the visitors wandered, the greater was their subsequent Cathaganian vocabulary and the greater their weight loss. At a range of four hundred yards a visitor could subsequently command a vocabulary of some seventeen thousand Cathaganian words and normally suffered a weight loss of about a stone and a half. An approach of under fifty yards meant a serious debilitating weight loss requiring constant hospital attention.


As I went over the water

The water went over me

I saw two little blackbirds

Sitting on a tree

One called me a rascal

One called me a thief

And I took up my little black stick

And knocked out all their teeth.



Sallis, collector of nursery rhymes, playground songs and children's folklore, believed in the Theory of the Responsibility of Birds and was not surprised in the slightest at the VUE's malevolence, knowing full well the traditional antipathy and antagonism of man towards bird that begins its propaganda in the nursery. 




Oh what have you got for dinner Mrs Bond

There's beef in the larder and ducks on the pond

Dilly-dilly, Dilly-dilly, come to be killed

You must be stuffed and my customers filled.




The Falls Biographies

  1. Orchard Falla

  2. Constance Ortuist Fallaburr

  3. Melorder Fallaburr

  4. Appis (Arris) Fallabus

  5. Standard Fallaby

  6. Tasida Fallaby

  7. Lacer Fallacet

  8. Arris Fallacie

  9. Mashanter Fallack

  10. Squaline Fallaize

  11. Carlos Fallantly

  12. Musicus Fallantly

  13. Wrallis Fallanway

  14. Allia Fallanx

  15. Starling Fallanx

  16. Ipson & Pulat Fallari

  17. Stachia Fallari

  18. Aptesia Fallarme

  19. Corntopia Fallas

  20. Anteo Fallaspy

  21. Pandist Fallaspy

  22. Sashio Fallaspy

  23. Vyanine Fallaspy

  24. Casternarm Fallast

  25. Ardenaur Fallatter

  26. Agropio Fallaver

  27. Propine Fallax

  28. Cash Fallbaez

  29. Antopody Fallbatts

  30. Coppice Fallbatteo

  31. Agrendo Fallbazz

  32. Cisgatten Fallbazz

  33. Hasp Fallbazz

  34. Canopy Fallbenning

  35. Cole Fallbird

  36. Castel Fallboys

  37. Acataloope Fallbus

  38. Astraham Fallbute

  39. Loosely Fallbute

  40. Betheda Fallbutus

  41. Bwythan Fallbutus

  42. Cathine Fallbutus

  43. Menenome Fallbutus

  44. Olivine Fallbutus

  45. Vacete Fallbutus

  46. Astra Fallcas

  47. David Fallcash

  48. Bewick Fallcaster

  49. Catch-Hanger Fallcaster

  50. Clasper Fallcaster

  51. Felix Fallcaster

  52. Max Fallcaster

  53. Orion Fallcaster

  54. Throper Fallcaster

  55. Raskado Fallcastle

  56. Appropinquo Fallcatti

  57. Agrimany Fallchester

  58. Sitiarch Fallding

  59. Ostler Falleaver

  60. Edio Fallenby

  61. Shey Fallenby

  62. Affinado Falleur

  63. Erek Fallfree

  64. Thomax Fallfresh

  65. Zachia Fallgillot

  66. Joyan Fallicory

  67. Bird Raspara Fallicutt

  68. Obsian Fallicutt

  69. Wrallis Fallinway

  70. Ashile Fallko

  71. Agostina Fallmutt

  72. Castan Fallockery

  73. Cottes Fallope

  74. Pollie Fallory

  75. Afracious Fallows 

  76. Hearty Fallparco

  77. Sallis Pino Fallpinio

  78. Crasstranger Fallqueue

  79. Romanese Fallracce

  80. Ascrib Fallstaff

  81. Armeror Fallstag

  82. Combayne Fallstoward

  83. Geoffrey Fallthuis

  84. Merriem Falltrick

  85. Stephany Falltrix

  86. Tolley Falluger

  87. Vassian Falluger

  88. Erhaus Bewler Falluper

  89. Grastled Fallusson

  90. Castral Fallvernon

  91. Leasting Fallvo

  92. Anthior Fallwaste


The Falls