54

 Throper Fallcaster

Duration 2.34

 

Throper FallcasterThroper Fallcaster

 

Throper: "What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? A brick layer. On which side does a chicken have most feathers? On the outside. Which birds can lift the heaviest weights? The crane."

Throper 'Castor' Fallcaster, born in an egg, 11:41 pm on June the 13th - the year of the Violent Unknown Event. That was the inscription written in tiny script on every egg in Throper's secret collection. 

Throper: "What would a baby goose say if it saw an orange in its nest? Look at the orange marmalade."

For true mythological accuracy the inscription should have been written on a swan's egg, but they were protected.

Throper: "What kind of bird do you find down a coal pit? A minah bird." 

Throper, oologist, infant polymath, collector of bird jokes in English and Greek, German and Vionester, was Catch-Hanger Fallcaster's youngest nephew and the survivor of twins. 

Throper: "What do you get if you cross a carrier pigeon with a woodpecker? A bird who knocks before delivering its message."

His brother Idis had perished of embolism, and his mother of grief. As to his father, no-one knew where he was. Pursuing the Leda connection, gossip made Bewick Fallcaster the father, but Catch-Hanger denied it.

Throper: "Heard about the woodpecker? It's boring."

The VUE had changed the colour of Throper's hair and had darkened his eyes. His average pulse-rate had quickened and he began to speak Vionester. 

Translator: "Most Vionester is spoken with the teeth, if not the lips, tightly closed. When the lips and teeth were parted, it was only to whistle."

Throper: "Why did the owl owl? Because the woodpecker woodpecker."

Throper collected eggs, perhaps because it was forbidden.

Throper: What kind of bird lays electric eggs. A battery hen." 

A few domestic birds were exempt and occasionally Max Fallcaster, Throper's uncle, notified Throper of an abandoned nest.

Throper: "Why do birds fly south in winter? Because it's too far to walk."

Throper had devised a way of drawing a photographic picture of the spots, whorls and freckles that characterised eggshell markings, and from comparative study devised a Responsibility of Birds Theory of his own.

Throper: "What is a certain way to get a wild duck? Buy a tame one and annoy it."

Cutting photosensitive paper to neatly wrap around the egg, Throper placed a fibre-optical light-source through a pinhole in the eggshell and then exposed the film through the translucent shell.

Throper: "Why did the chicken cross the road? For some fowl reason."

From the negatives he made slides and projected them onto the walls of his bedroom, making closely detailed and scaled drawings to present to the VUE Commission along with his own personal conclusions. 

Throper: "What's red, white and black? A sunburned penguin."

In recognition of his effort, the Commission sent him an ostrich egg.

 

 

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The Falls Biographies

  1. Orchard Falla

  2. Constance Ortuist Fallaburr

  3. Melorder Fallaburr

  4. Appis (Arris) Fallabus

  5. Standard Fallaby

  6. Tasida Fallaby

  7. Lacer Fallacet

  8. Arris Fallacie

  9. Mashanter Fallack

  10. Squaline Fallaize

  11. Carlos Fallantly

  12. Musicus Fallantly

  13. Wrallis Fallanway

  14. Allia Fallanx

  15. Starling Fallanx

  16. Ipson & Pulat Fallari

  17. Stachia Fallari

  18. Aptesia Fallarme

  19. Corntopia Fallas

  20. Anteo Fallaspy

  21. Pandist Fallaspy

  22. Sashio Fallaspy

  23. Vyanine Fallaspy

  24. Casternarm Fallast

  25. Ardenaur Fallatter

  26. Agropio Fallaver

  27. Propine Fallax

  28. Cash Fallbaez

  29. Antopody Fallbatts

  30. Coppice Fallbatteo

  31. Agrendo Fallbazz

  32. Cisgatten Fallbazz

  33. Hasp Fallbazz

  34. Canopy Fallbenning

  35. Cole Fallbird

  36. Castel Fallboys

  37. Acataloope Fallbus

  38. Astraham Fallbute

  39. Loosely Fallbute

  40. Betheda Fallbutus

  41. Bwythan Fallbutus

  42. Cathine Fallbutus

  43. Menenome Fallbutus

  44. Olivine Fallbutus

  45. Vacete Fallbutus

  46. Astra Fallcas

  47. David Fallcash

  48. Bewick Fallcaster

  49. Catch-Hanger Fallcaster

  50. Clasper Fallcaster

  51. Felix Fallcaster

  52. Max Fallcaster

  53. Orion Fallcaster

  54. Throper Fallcaster

  55. Raskado Fallcastle

  56. Appropinquo Fallcatti

  57. Agrimany Fallchester

  58. Sitiarch Fallding

  59. Ostler Falleaver

  60. Edio Fallenby

  61. Shey Fallenby

  62. Affinado Falleur

  63. Erek Fallfree

  64. Thomax Fallfresh

  65. Zachia Fallgillot

  66. Joyan Fallicory

  67. Bird Raspara Fallicutt

  68. Obsian Fallicutt

  69. Wrallis Fallinway

  70. Ashile Fallko

  71. Agostina Fallmutt

  72. Castan Fallockery

  73. Cottes Fallope

  74. Pollie Fallory

  75. Afracious Fallows 

  76. Hearty Fallparco

  77. Sallis Pino Fallpinio

  78. Crasstranger Fallqueue

  79. Romanese Fallracce

  80. Ascrib Fallstaff

  81. Armeror Fallstag

  82. Combayne Fallstoward

  83. Geoffrey Fallthuis

  84. Merriem Falltrick

  85. Stephany Falltrix

  86. Tolley Falluger

  87. Vassian Falluger

  88. Erhaus Bewler Falluper

  89. Grastled Fallusson

  90. Castral Fallvernon

  91. Leasting Fallvo

  92. Anthior Fallwaste

 

The Falls 

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