Duration 2.34

Throper: "What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? A brick layer. On which side does a chicken have most feathers? On the outside. Which birds can lift the heaviest weights? The crane."

Throper 'Castor' Fallcaster, born in an egg, 11:41 pm on June the 13th - the year of the Violent Unknown Event. That was the inscription written in tiny script on every egg in Throper's secret collection. 

Throper: "What would a baby goose say if it saw an orange in its nest? Look at the orange marmalade."

For true mythological accuracy the inscription should have been written on a swan's egg, but they were protected.

Throper: "What kind of bird do you find down a coal pit? A minah bird." 

Throper, oologist, infant polymath, collector of bird jokes in English and Greek, German and Vionester, was Catch-Hanger Fallcaster's youngest nephew and the survivor of twins. 

Throper: "What do you get if you cross a carrier pigeon with a woodpecker? A bird who knocks before delivering its message."

His brother Idis had perished of embolism, and his mother of grief. As to his father, no-one knew where he was. Pursuing the Leda connection, gossip made Bewick Fallcaster the father, but Catch-Hanger denied it.

Throper: "Heard about the woodpecker? It's boring."

The VUE had changed the colour of Throper's hair and had darkened his eyes. His average pulse-rate had quickened and he began to speak Vionester. 

Translator: "Most Vionester is spoken with the teeth, if not the lips, tightly closed. When the lips and teeth were parted, it was only to whistle."

Throper: "Why did the owl owl? Because the woodpecker woodpecker."

Throper collected eggs, perhaps because it was forbidden.

Throper: What kind of bird lays electric eggs. A battery hen." 

A few domestic birds were exempt and occasionally Max Fallcaster, Throper's uncle, notified Throper of an abandoned nest.

Throper: "Why do birds fly south in winter? Because it's too far to walk."

Throper had devised a way of drawing a photographic picture of the spots, whorls and freckles that characterised eggshell markings, and from comparative study devised a Responsibility of Birds Theory of his own.

Throper: "What is a certain way to get a wild duck? Buy a tame one and annoy it."

Cutting photosensitive paper to neatly wrap around the egg, Throper placed a fibre-optical light-source through a pinhole in the eggshell and then exposed the film through the translucent shell.

Throper: "Why did the chicken cross the road? For some fowl reason."

From the negatives he made slides and projected them onto the walls of his bedroom, making closely detailed and scaled drawings to present to the VUE Commission along with his own personal conclusions. 

Throper: "What's red, white and black? A sunburned penguin."

In recognition of his effort, the Commission sent him an ostrich egg.

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