Vassian Falluger

Duration 2.54

Vassian Falluger

Vassian Falluger for a long time believed that the Violent Unknown Event was a mass hallucination perpetrated by the World Society for the Protection of Birds on a public who felt guilty about bird slaughter. Then he changed his mind, or had his mind changed for him.

Vassian's former feelings on the VUE were no doubt prompted both by sibling rivalry, his brother being a celebrated, if censored, enthusiast for the Theory of the Responsibility of Birds, and by the mildness of his symptoms, slight ornith-a-graffiti, a containable patagium fellitis and a preference for travel in spring and autumn.

Vassian's conversion relied on two fortuitous events, a visit to the Boulder Orchard, and a present of a facsimile edition of the Havell Double-Elephant Folio of Audubon's Birds of America. The visit was initially a professional one. Vassian was asked to design the lettering and take the photographs for the publicity material for a new VUE opera that took as its libretto the names of ninety-two birds. The Folio was given to him by Allia Fallanx, at that time the resident Boulder Orchard Custodian. Vassian saw one phenomenon reflected in the other and considered both of them to be interchangeable. For Falluger, Audubon had replaced Tulse Luper as the Violent Unknown Event's master strategist and cataloguer. With the obsessive enthusiasm of a true convert, Vassian drew and photographed the Orchard, and filmed it on every available film-stock he could lay his hands on. He taped the Orchard's birdsong, yearly counted the leaves on its eleven trees and scrupulously measured the root growth. He had calculated the value of the Orchard's apples in sterling, dollars, gold and osprey eggs. Vassian claimed to have discovered in the disposition of rocks and trees an intricate system of channels and passageways that, in miniature, matched the pilgrim tracks of the Lleyn Peninsula and the known routes of migrational birds in the Northern Hemisphere.

Vassian has an ambitious programme for the next ten years that includes a full-scale model of the Boulder Orchard, recreated in metal and plastic, an illustrated plant-life, where, he claims, the most successful plants in the Boulder Orchard are the Cranesbill, the Ragged Robin, and the Bird's Foot Trefoil, and a project to deposit a hand-written copy of the ninety-two VUE bird-names in every public library in Great Britain.



The Falls Biographies

  1. Orchard Falla

  2. Constance Ortuist Fallaburr

  3. Melorder Fallaburr

  4. Appis (Arris) Fallabus

  5. Standard Fallaby

  6. Tasida Fallaby

  7. Lacer Fallacet

  8. Arris Fallacie

  9. Mashanter Fallack

  10. Squaline Fallaize

  11. Carlos Fallantly

  12. Musicus Fallantly

  13. Wrallis Fallanway

  14. Allia Fallanx

  15. Starling Fallanx

  16. Ipson & Pulat Fallari

  17. Stachia Fallari

  18. Aptesia Fallarme

  19. Corntopia Fallas

  20. Anteo Fallaspy

  21. Pandist Fallaspy

  22. Sashio Fallaspy

  23. Vyanine Fallaspy

  24. Casternarm Fallast

  25. Ardenaur Fallatter

  26. Agropio Fallaver

  27. Propine Fallax

  28. Cash Fallbaez

  29. Antopody Fallbatts

  30. Coppice Fallbatteo

  31. Agrendo Fallbazz

  32. Cisgatten Fallbazz

  33. Hasp Fallbazz

  34. Canopy Fallbenning

  35. Cole Fallbird

  36. Castel Fallboys

  37. Acataloope Fallbus

  38. Astraham Fallbute

  39. Loosely Fallbute

  40. Betheda Fallbutus

  41. Bwythan Fallbutus

  42. Cathine Fallbutus

  43. Menenome Fallbutus

  44. Olivine Fallbutus

  45. Vacete Fallbutus

  46. Astra Fallcas

  47. David Fallcash

  48. Bewick Fallcaster

  49. Catch-Hanger Fallcaster

  50. Clasper Fallcaster

  51. Felix Fallcaster

  52. Max Fallcaster

  53. Orion Fallcaster

  54. Throper Fallcaster

  55. Raskado Fallcastle

  56. Appropinquo Fallcatti

  57. Agrimany Fallchester

  58. Sitiarch Fallding

  59. Ostler Falleaver

  60. Edio Fallenby

  61. Shey Fallenby

  62. Affinado Falleur

  63. Erek Fallfree

  64. Thomax Fallfresh

  65. Zachia Fallgillot

  66. Joyan Fallicory

  67. Bird Raspara Fallicutt

  68. Obsian Fallicutt

  69. Wrallis Fallinway

  70. Ashile Fallko

  71. Agostina Fallmutt

  72. Castan Fallockery

  73. Cottes Fallope

  74. Pollie Fallory

  75. Afracious Fallows 

  76. Hearty Fallparco

  77. Sallis Pino Fallpinio

  78. Crasstranger Fallqueue

  79. Romanese Fallracce

  80. Ascrib Fallstaff

  81. Armeror Fallstag

  82. Combayne Fallstoward

  83. Geoffrey Fallthuis

  84. Merriem Falltrick

  85. Stephany Falltrix

  86. Tolley Falluger

  87. Vassian Falluger

  88. Erhaus Bewler Falluper

  89. Grastled Fallusson

  90. Castral Fallvernon

  91. Leasting Fallvo

  92. Anthior Fallwaste



The Falls